The Pryor Times

February 13, 2014

Author writes love letters to man she’s never met

Staff Writer
Cydney Baron

PRYOR, OK — Twenty years ago, Missy Nicholas of Pryor began writing love letters to a man she’d never met.

Her book, “Letters to Love”  chronicles her personal journey.

“Sometimes hopeful, sometimes despairing, the letters reflect the emotional roller coaster that every single woman can identify with and every married woman should be reminded of,” according to the synopsis on the book cover.

“I consider this book to be nothing more than my journey, my search, my thoughts and hopefully others might consider it something like a validating chat with a friend,” said Nicholas, who moved to Pryor seven years ago.

The book happened by chance, when Nicholas realized many of her journal entries repeated this same theme. She put those entries in a separate journal and continued writing them for nearly 20-years until her niece discovered the journal and encouraged her to publish.

Despite being a psycho-therapist with her own practice, Nicholas does not consider herself an expert on love.

“Not an expert then and certainly not an expert now. That is what I consider to be the beauty of my story. It is filled with what I think are very common feelings, doubts, questions, concerns and insecurities that most of us ask ourselves as we try to figure out who is ‘the one,’” said Nicholas.

“Our culture in general, Disney specifically, does us a bit of a disservice as they lead us to believe that our prince will show up and rescue us and we will ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after,” said Nicholas. “The truth for most of us is that finding the one we want to spend our lives with is a painful process of figuring out who we are ourselves and then who we want to share that self with.”

She added that once people find “the one” it sometimes takes work to maintain the love.

Nicholas said there is no finish line in a love story, so nobody could ever really be an expert on love.

In the midst of her own love story, Nicholas discovered some personal truths about love.

“I believe any of us can ‘fall in love’ at first sight because that’s when the other person is still perfect. We do it all the time,” said Nicholas. “I find those 40-, 50-, and 60-year romances much more appealing than the love at first sight stories. I think it’s the work, the commitment and the choice to stay with somebody that is beautiful beyond

comparison in today’s world.”

The letters, addressed simply “To my Love,” range from optimistic, to confused, to heartbroken, to blissful.

“I like the ones that are funny just because it kept the whole process lighthearted for me,” said Nicholas when asked if she had a favorite letter. “I guess my favorite thing about this book isn’t a specific letter but it's the salutations or sign-offs that I like the most and had a lot of fun with.”

Salutations change in every letter. They range from, “Glad I didn’t bother to shave my legs” to “Waiting with a full heart.”

“The one on page 38 is probably the one I keep coming back to as the process lingered on and on. It’s a good reminder of why to wait until you know it’s right,” said Nicholas.

The letter to love on page 38 says, “The two most important decisions I will make as a child of God are, what will I do with this life you have given me and who will I spend my life with while doing it? If I rush to answer the second before I answer the first I could miss the very purpose for which I was created.” It is signed, “You’re not my one, you’re my two.”

“Thankfully my love story doesn’t end. That’s the primary thing

I learned. That love is

not something you look for in your life but something you cultivate in your heart,” said Nicholas. “I found somebody to share it with, not somebody to create it for me.”

“Letters to Love” is available locally at Pryor’s Book Exchange and Crafty Tiger.