The Pryor Times

March 19, 2013

‘Anticipation is makin’ me wait’

Staff Writer
Susan Wagoner

— We’ve all seen the hilarious commercial about Oikos Greek Yogurt featuring John Stamos. The two women who take a bite and the next person they see turns into John Stamos for five seconds. Here comes sunburned, beer-gut toting hubby and presto: he becomes the incredibly handsome John.

After a few seconds of product information junk, the camera returns to the women who are dismayed that the men now entering the room are all pretty much as “awesome” as the first guy.

Next thing you know, the women are guzzling the yogurt, begging for a repeat appearance of John.

I’ve always thought it was a cute commercial, but had never tasted the product.

Fast forward. After a grueling weekend moving into a house, I stopped by the grocery store to get a few items before heading home.

When passing by the dairy aisle, I spotted Oikos yogurt. Way too expensive for my budget, but it had been a heckuva weekend, so I decided to spoil myself.

“What doing, Mom?” my Kellie said to me.

“I’m treating myself to five seconds with John Stamos,” I replied.

Hours later, exhausted, I flopped onto the couch with my yogurt and spoon and readied myself for a moment with General Hospital’s Blackie Parrish.

Years ago, my teenage heart would fawn over John Stamos as he rocked his way around General Hospital. I would lie on my bed, hug my pillow and pretend it was Blackie Parrish. Inevitably, when I would lean in for a kiss....my mother would call from the other room, interrupting my fantasy.

Not this time. He was all mine...even if only for five seconds.

I slowly peeled the foil top from the container.

“Hey John,” I said outloud. “Best get your dancing shoes on, cause you’re about to waltz into my life and I’m gonna rock your world when you do.”

I picked up the spoon almost lovingly. This is gonna be sooooo good.

I scooped up a heaping portion of yogurt and blueberries, sat back, closed my eyes and placed the spoon in my mouth.

“Cmon Johnny. Come to Mama,” I thought as my lips closed around the spoon.

The phone rang.

It was my mother.